In the human experience there’s a whole mess of things we experience - some joyous, some not so much. From birth to death you’ll probably question your career choice, wonder if you’ll find your partner, be afraid of change (big and small) and a ton of other things. Though not necessarily new to the human experience, as a recent college grad trying to make my way into a profession I don’t have a college education in, I have found myself asking “Do I even belong here? Is it even worth trying with all these other people already doing what I want to do?”.

Now, I could be wrong but I’m going to guess many of y’all have or are thinking these exact same things. Regardless of what you’re worried about belonging to- a profession, a space, a place- that gut wrenching doubt sucks. Asking yourself, "Do I belong here?” or that draining brain game of “Some of those already in have it way more together than me and have accomplished way more than me already... maybe this just isn't even worth it". That mess happens and I’m not really sure if it ever goes away fully. I’ve heard age, and grace and gratitude helps but hey, we’re human.

While I certainly would love to give y’all all the answers and fixes to get rid of these thoughts, I can’t. But, I can tell ya a few things that have helped me work through these thoughts and not allow them to effect me as much.

First off, there IS someone out there with more experience, more accolades, better this or that BUT they aren’t you. One of the things my parents made sure I knew growing up was that there WILL be people better than you at something- that’s just how it works! Contrary to many grad school’s and law school’s admittance requirements, you can’t have experience fresh out of the womb and that’s the truth with everything. Now knowing that you won’t be #1 always, think about it like this: in identifying those who are where you want to be you’ve identified your role models, hopefully soon-to-be mentors and friends or peers. In identifying those folks reach out. Whether its in person, over email or DM, chat them up. Even better, try to intern or work with them. The mindset here follows a phrase I’m sure you’ve heard: “you are who you’re friends with” As adults(ish) you are who you surround yourself with; can’t be them? Join them.

Second, YOU being YOU has something someone with more experience or whatever that equivalent is doesn’t. Yeah, you might not know excel- something I think 99% of people lie about on their resume- but your life experiences, demeanor (read: the stuff that makes you YOU) is what will land that sale, a chat with the founder, you busting your butt to pass the professional exam. What you have to offer as a human being is worthy and something years in a position or field won’t get you. Who you are, what YOU offer- the world needs.

While not so much a mindset to overcome these thoughts, I like to throw some logic at myself. When I get into these spirals I check in (sometimes out loud, because why not). I remind myself, “If you fail, it wasn’t meant to be. BUT you’ll still have learned something - probably a whole lot of somethings” I try to think about how failure is the biggest motivator and teacher. For example, up until October 2018 I was dead set on going to Law School. After bombing the LSAT I decided to take time off to actually evaluate my life. All through college I excelled and did all the things. I was cut-throat-sleep-10-hours-a-week ambitious and truth be told it was killing me. I was emotionally traumatized and spent a lot of what I had emotionally in an organization that didn’t serve me mentally. I knew if I kept on with Law School, deep deep down, I’d burn out in .25 seconds. So, with a big ole failure and kissing goodbye to amazing schools I learned a hell of a lot about myself. I started only spending time with the people I loved and made me feel good, stopped stressing over an organization that big-picture didn’t matter and discovered how much I loved being creative. Failing at Law School was the best failure I’ve ever had and I’m thankful.

Ultimately y’all we’re going to think these things- we’re human freakin beings. We are complex, feel things deeply and have to work hard to escape the way success and worth has been defined previously. At the end of things, I hope the next time you get on this spiral you know this: someone might be “better” than you but they aren’t you and that’s your gift the world needs. Even if you fail, you’re going to learn all the things - skills and soul. YOU do belong wherever “here” is and that limiting mindset got nothin on you.

I’d love to know how and what y’all are experiencing with limiting mindsets and how you tackle it in the comments! Thank you for reading!