If you’re a fan of the fashion industry, better yet the diversification needing to happen in the industry or use Mega Babe, chances are you probably have heard of Katie Sturino.

Katie is a well known entrepreneur, creator of Mega Babe and an accessible and diverse fashion advocate. I personally stumbled across her through Instagram and have stuck following along with her since. She keeps it real, has precious pups and is a kick ass boss babe- win, win, win.

In her Insta stories a few weeks ago she shared some snippets from a recent interview with Harper’s Bazaar. In the screen shot, she captured a quote from the article. When asked why she doesn’t like the word flattering, she responded:

“I don't like the word flattering. I've heard it so many times ("It wasn't very flattering on you"). You hear that a lot, and it's annoying because you're standing there and you love it. And what is flattering, anyway? Flattering, I think, means small, thin. I understand that it is pretty much what people have to cling to and to understand if something looks good or not, but as we go forward, I would like to find other ways we can talk about what we're wearing.”

Cue my mind being blown. I like to think that I’m constantly learning and changing but this concept hit me like a freakin train. Regardless of your size or gender you’ve probably had an exchange with “flattery” - I know I have. From growing up as a chubby girl to being curvy as a woman the “flattery”maneuver worms its way into our lives and minds quite quickly.

This quote here has stopped me in my tracks and made me think of all the times it had been used in that exact scenario- I love something but I see the person I’m shopping with and they look… not pleased? Grossed out? The list goes on but then comes the “Maybe there is something more flattering for you”. It’s like code for body shaming, a reminder your body is seen as less than or that maybe you’re a little naive for thinking someone like you could even try to pull that off. After getting pretty sad in some of my childhood body-shaming trauma I called bullshit on it. Yes- this was a huge part of my childhood and even my adult life but actually having the word to hold on to that’s done so much damage- it felt good. It feels good. In fact, it served as a mental check on how the words and phrases I use towards myself and others matter.

Flattery, like most one-size-fits-all body shaming phrases doesn’t leave many people with much but guilt, shame and all over icky feelings. Like Katie says, the phrase flattering is a way to understand “if something looks good or not” but, as she also mentions, I’ve challenged myself to think and actively change how I talk about what I’m wearing. For example, previously I may have said my jeans looked unflattering on me. In reality- unflattering meant it squeezed on my tummy, stretched tight across my thighs and as always were way too stinkin long for my short legs. Those jeans were not unflattering - they showed my body. Parts of them were not functional or the look I was going for- but why not just say that?

I challenge you to try on some clothes, look at yourself in what you’re wearing or want to wear and get past the bullshit construct of “flattering”. Clothes can be comfy, uncomfy, not practical, super fun, too long, too small, too big, not the color you wanted- but they aren’t unflattering. When you’re done that, I highly recommend checking out the interview and her page- we all needs a few more inspirational women in our lives!